Labor...Delivery.....a few months late!

First of all, I'd like to apologize for being a crappy blogger. Having a baby causes your brain to go through this process of liquification and I've still not quite come back from that.... so the last time I blogged (is that a word???) I was still pregnant so I probably ought to tell you that I had the baby (shock, I know......no I am not pregnant for an additional 5 months, ha!). Here's the story:

I was due on Sunday January 11 and by that day was still very much pregnant and ready to be done. It's funny how everyone tells you that "you'll know" what a contraction is as if you're going to have this made for TV moment where you are doubled over, hand on stomach and yelling "Honey, it's time!" (think Susan on Desperate Housewives with MJ.... along with every other pregnant woman on TV). Well, I'll tell you that had my friend, Tonya, not told me that all she ever felt was something similar to period cramps I would not have "known." There was no moment where clutching my rotund belly I told my hubby it was "time." I was just up from like midnight on with cramps here and there wishing that I had not eaten crab cakes for dinner because I was sure I'd be seeing them again soon. I was exhausted and uncomfortable and so over being pregnant. To top it off, that day our youngest puppy, Daisy, had gastroenteritis and we had to take her into the vet for IV fluids. Let me tell you, our vet (who we were so lucky would come in on a Sunday for us) was not too thrilled that I was in labor in his office but that's a whole other story. I spent the entire day having cramps/contractions but they were spaced out pretty far so I was thinking I was just being tortured and probably wasn't in real labor. After all, I'd been 1 cm and 50% effaced for 4 weeks now.... as if that wasn't torture enough, right? 

Well, after a long day and being totally exhausted from not sleeping the night before we go to bed hoping to get some sleep. No such luck because my cramps turned into full blown contractions and by 3am we were on our way to the hospital. I was hurting but I was so excited and so ready to be done being pregnant. We get to the hospital and they offer me a wheel chair but I opt to walk thinking it will help move things along. After all, that's what they tell you to do right? The nurse hooks me up to all of these machines and checks my cervix to find that I'm 2 cm dilated. Not quite the 4 cm I thought I would be after having contractions every 5 minutes for the last few hours (this is what they tell you in class people!) but it's progress and I'll take it! Yay! Things are definitely moving along and she says that I'll need to stay so they can monitor my progression. They tell me to get some sleep (seriously, are they kidding????) and that they'll have my doctor check me when she comes in in the morning. Well, if you've ever stayed in a hospital you know that it's impossible to sleep with all of the commotion and beeping and constant checking so by the time the doc came to check me that morning I was going on 2 nights with no sleep and was exhausted. She checked me and I was still 2 cm......what????!!! She said I was in prodromal labor where your body just stresses out and isn't progressing. At this point my contractions had slowed down and by noon when she checked me again and I was still 2 cm she sent me home. I was bummed but at least we got to stop by Spudnuts on the way home. I was not only exhausted but starving since they don't let you eat much while in labor. I spent the rest of the day (now Monday) eating donuts and watching recorded trashy TV with my hubby & brother (long story) and trying to breathe through my contractions. 

By that evening my contractions were much more painful (and by much I mean I definitely could not talk through them, I could barely breathe!) and getting closer together and longer. I tried getting in the bathtub (twice actually) and having my hubby rub my back, all of the positions and breathing (I just can't do the hee hee hee hoo thing, it annoyed me). Nothing was working and they were getting stronger and stronger. By this point my husband is on the phone with the OB asking when we should come back in and what he can do for me. She told us just to wait it out and come in if we absolutely couldn't stand it or if my water broke. He ended up calling a few more times and finally just decided that we were going back. My contractions were back to 4-5 minutes apart and I was dying. It was awful. Once we got in the car they were more like 3 minutes apart and we still had to drop our dogs off at the kennel in town. While waiting in the car for my hubby to take the dogs in (mind you it's 2 am, oh and he owns the kennel which is why that's ok) my contractions jump to every minute and are so intense I'm sure he'll be delivering this baby in the car. We race to the hospital and this time I'm ready to accept the wheelchair however no one offers (lovely huh?) and I waddle up the the maternity floor stopping every minute to grip my hubby's arm and breathe. It was a long walk/elevator ride. They get me into the bed and check my cervix to find that I'm..... still 2 cm! You have GOT to be kidding me! I was dying in pain and I told them they were going to have to do something for me or I wasn't going to make it. At this point I haven't slept in 3 days and I'm having contractions every minute. I'm not going to make it if I have to go back home. There is no way. They ended up giving me a shot of morphine which basically slowed my contractions a bit and allowed  me to crash and sleep in between in hopes of getting my body to finally relax so that I could progress past 2 cm. 

The OB came in to check me at 10:00 the next morning (now Tuesday) and I was fully prepared to tell him where to put it if he tried to send me home. All of my morphine has worn off and I'm back to dying in pain and am not someone you want to be messing with this morning. But I play nice while he's checking me and low and behold I'm 4 cm!!! Oh thank goodness I think and when he asks me if I'd like him to break my water all of the sudden all of my big and badness disappears and I'm scared. I've been so ready for this and now it's here and I'm just so worried that my contractions are going to be so much worse and I'm worried about how long it will be until I can get my epidural. The poor man is standing there waiting for me to answer him with his hand on my bag of water ready to go and was obviously expecting me to say yes since I was so big and bad just moments earlier. I say yea, go ahead and all of the sudden am now sitting in a puddle of fluids. Fun, yes, but even more fun... you get to keep leaking! I thought it was just one set of fluids and then  you were done, oh no, you keep leaking amniotic fluid until the baby is out. Let's just say it was an interesting trip to the bathroom after that one...

After that (around noonish) they hooked me up to an IV and called in the anesthesiologist to prepare my epidural. I know, I'm a wimp... but I had already felt enough pain and there was no way I was going any further without some pain meds. While I was talking to the anesthesiologist the nurse gave me a shot of fentynal and let me tell you it was GREAT. She said it was going to feel like a martini and I'm telling you it felt like 3. I was a little embarrassed when the anesthesiologist got a little blurry but whatever, I felt SO much better and at this point I didn't really care what she was going to do to me so long as it took away the pain I was in. Note, if someone offers you a shot of fentynal, take it! I was honestly more nervous about getting the epidural than I was about the actual childbirth but it really wasn't that bad. She had me sit on the bed and bend over (as far as a pregnant girl really can). She numbed my back and then put in the epidural. I never really felt anything more than a pinch and a little pressure and who can't deal with that for a painless childbirth, right? I even got to sleep for a few hours after that in between being checked every so often. 

By about 4:00 I wasn't progressing as quickly as they'd like so they gave me some pitocin and that really sped things up. I dilated 3 cm in an hour and then my epidural started to wear off on the side I wasn't laying on. So I kept switching side to side to relieve the pain. It was awful and I ended up hovering over a bedpan for about an hour totally nauseous from the pain. I went another 3 cm in the next hour. My hubby was running back and forth to the waiting room to give our family the news and by a little after 7:00 I was ready to push. The nurse assured me that pushing would relieve the pain I was feeling and I thought is she crazy? Does she really think that I am going to believe that pushing a small child out of my hoohaa is going to feel BETTER than this pain? Like she really knows what she's talking about as if she does this for a living (ha, I know but I was in pain and irrational). It did actually feel better to push but I'm a see it to believe it kind of gal. My doctor was awesome and she was such a great cheerleader. She was very motivating and made the experience really great. Plus, she looked just like my friend Sarah with her scrubs on and that helped calm me down. She had me push once to see what we were up against and could immediately see the baby's head. She said we'd be having a baby within the next hour and went off to get her stuff together. I kept pushing with the nurse and my hubby with each contraction. The nurse even let me watch with a mirror but I got so distracted that I couldn't push. No more mirror for me. The doctor came back in and it all went so quickly they almost didn't have time to get a baby nurse in our room. I pushed for about 30 minutes and she was out!  I swear it felt like an eternity before she cried but when she did it was the best sound in the world. They put her on my chest and she looked up at me, she was so perfect and so tiny! I actually asked where the rest of her was, ha!

Madison Grace Dofflemyer was born on January 13, 2009 at 7:48pm. She weighed 5 lbs 12 oz and was 18 in long with a full head of brown hair! She looks just like her daddy and she's absolutely perfect. We are so in love!

No longer pregnant!!!